Grace, Grit & Sarcasm

Here’s a situation I’ve been turning over in my head, and I’m genuinely curious what other people—especially women in leadership—would think.

There was recently a company-sponsored outing to a baseball game for supervisors to get together outside of work. Managers were invited to attend as well.

Now, before anyone thinks this is a story about me being devastated because I missed nine innings of baseball, overpriced beer, and sitting outside in the summer heat…

It is not.

Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have gone.

But I would have liked to have been invited.

Apparently, my inner five-year-old is still alive and well enough to say, “But why didn’t I get invited to the party?”

At first, though, I didn’t give it much thought.

There are two female managers on our leadership team: me and one other woman. The other female manager doesn’t oversee a supervisor, so initially I thought maybe that explained why she wasn’t invited. As for me, I do oversee a supervisor, but I figured there was probably some perfectly reasonable explanation for why I wasn’t included either.

No big deal.

No dramatic music required.

Then I learned a little more about who attended.

Eight male managers went to the outing.

Two of those eight male managers don’t oversee supervisors at all.

And that’s when my brain did that annoying little thing it sometimes does:

Wait a minute…

Because now I had a harder time understanding the criteria.

There are only two female managers on our leadership team.

Neither of us was invited.

And we were the only managers who weren’t.

Well.

That’s…interesting.

To be clear, I am NOT saying someone sat down with the invitation list and said:

Am I Overthinking This?

Men? Check.

Men? Check.

Women? Absolutely not. They might ruin baseball.

There were actually two female supervisors invited, so this wasn’t some secret “No Girls Allowed” clubhouse meeting.

And there may be a perfectly innocent explanation.

Maybe it was an oversight.

Maybe there was some other criteria for deciding which managers were invited.

Maybe our invitations were carried away by the same mysterious force that steals one sock out of every load of laundry.

I don’t know.

But I do know that once I realized the only two managers who weren’t invited were also the only two female managers, it felt different.

Especially when I realized that I do oversee a supervisor, while two of the eight male managers who attended don’t oversee supervisors at all.

That’s the part that made me stop and wonder.

It’s Not Really About Baseball

Here’s the funny thing.

There’s a very good chance that if someone had invited me, I would have said:

“Thank you so much for thinking of me, but I’m going to pass.”

And then I probably would have gone home, put on comfortable clothes, hung out with my dogs and been perfectly happy with my life choices.

Ahhh, life after 50.

But that’s really beside the point.

Because being invited means someone thought to include you.

It means you got to make the choice.

Company outings also aren’t always just about whatever activity is printed on the invitation.

People build relationships at these things. They talk. They laugh. They get to know one another differently. Managers and supervisors have conversations they might not have when everyone is running around at work putting out the latest fire.

Those relationships matter.

That’s why this isn’t really about whether I got to watch a baseball game.

It’s about inclusion.

Maybe This Is Another Benefit of Being Over 50

One thing I’m discovering at this stage of my life is that I don’t have to choose between immediately assuming the worst about someone and pretending something doesn’t bother me.

There’s a whole lot of territory between:

“THIS IS DISCRIMINATION!”

and

“Oh well. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Somewhere in the middle is a perfectly reasonable question:

“Can you help me understand what happened here?”

And I think that’s where I am.

I’m not looking to file a complaint.

I’m not assuming anyone intentionally excluded the women.

I’m certainly not losing sleep over missing a baseball game.

But I do think it’s reasonable to ask the question.

Because sometimes intent and impact aren’t the same thing.

Maybe there’s an explanation that makes complete sense.

I’d actually be happy to hear it.

So, What Would You Think?

I’m throwing this one out to all of you.

You’re one of only two female managers on a leadership team.

There’s a company-sponsored baseball outing for supervisors, and managers are invited too.

Eight male managers attend.

Two of those male managers don’t even oversee supervisors.

You oversee a supervisor.

Yet you and the other female manager are the only managers who aren’t invited.

And you also happen to be the only two women.

What would you think?

Would you shrug it off?

Would you feel excluded?

Would you wonder whether gender played a role?

Would you ask your GM what happened?

Or would you tell yourself, “Girl, you weren’t going anyway. Put your pajamas on and enjoy your evening.”

Because that last option still sounds pretty good.

But I keep coming back to two things:

I didn’t need to go to the baseball game. I just wanted to know that I belonged on the invitation list and why this si still a thing in 2026.

And I don’t think those are the same thing.

So tell me—would you ask why?